The Hardest Thing
by In The Mix
Summary: After a terrible ordeal Naruto makes a life changing decision that he wishes he didn't have to make but for his reasons must. Please read the warnings before reading!


**WARNINGS:** Mentions of** RAPE, M-PREG** and **ABORTION!** Oh and underage drinking... If any of these things disturb you or you don't want to read about a situation dealing with one of these things please turn back. **None of this is graphic** but due to the controversial nature of this topic I'm putting it in M to be safe. Please once you have read this wanring **DO NOT** flame me for the content but rather the quality if it does not meet your standards. I understand there are many Pro-Life people on fanfic but I am Pro-Choice and I hope that you can at least put aside our differences should you choose to still read this and comment. Thank you.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

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><p>"Are you sure you want to go through with this Naruto? This is your last chance to back down."<p>

I looked at the doctor with dull eyes. I knew this had to be done. "Yes, I'm sure."

I mean what other choice did I have? I can't afford a baby right now and even if I could I would have no support but even that isn't the reason why I'm doing this. If I really wanted to I could scrape by for a little while with a baby, not long but awhile but again that's not the reason why. I'm doing this because I could never put another person through what I had to go through. That would be just cruel, especially when it would in all likelihood have a worse life than what I had to live. I mean which is more unnatural, a demon or a babe born from a male one?

Adoption? What a joke. The second anyone finds out it's mine or even it's good for nothing father it's outcast and I wouldn't have a right to try and help it any longer. I mean it would be easy to tell who the parents were by just looking at them as I have distinctive blonde hair and blue eyes if the baby takes after me and its father, the man who raped me, had long dark hair with distinctive molten gold eyes and the palest skin imaginable. The Hokage told me the man is a missing nin that was once in the running for his position but ultimately lost to the Fourth. Even if the baby doesn't look like either of us I can't take that risk. It would still have our blood and that too is easily tested.

"Okay then Naruto. I'm going to begin."

During the whole procedure I stare blankly at the ceiling, thinking of how this may be the only chance of family I'll ever have and how it really wasn't a chance at all. How it's better to do this and rid myself of a few cells than give up a flesh and blood child… A flesh and blood family who would love me for me… I think of how much it's killing me inside knowing that I'm going to regret this the rest of my life but knowing I really have no other choice. I couldn't live with myself if I see the treatment I receive happen to an innocent, to my baby. Maybe if I think of this as a mission it would ease the pain a bit? I mean before I become Hokage I'm probably going to have to be in ANBU and they have to kill lots of people… even children… No one talks about it but we all know it happens.

I end that train of thought as the doctor is almost finished. Good, this means so I can go and put this all behind me. As soon as I'm out of here I'm going to use my ninja identification card to prove I'm a genin, and therefore an adult, to get drunk. To hopefully get so lost in the alcohol that for a few hours I can forget I lost a chance at a family, forget I really never had that chance, forget I'm hated for something that's out of my hands, forget I don't have any friends or family that would hold my hand during the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Despite me being a ninja and the life I've lived I'm still only twelve. I don't want to be alone especially not for this.

Tomorrow I'm going to demand our first C-rank mission to hopefully get out of town for a little while. Old Man Hokage will understand, he's probably one of the few that knows of today, and even though we are for from ready I know this once he'll have a little leeway and comply with my request.

"We're all done here Naruto. You're already healing quickly and should be ready for missions as soon as tomorrow." The doctor said that a little too cheerfully. It was very out of place and if it weren't for the fact he was under a doctor's vow of confidentiality I'm sure he would tell the world of how "the demon brat" almost had a baby and how unnatural I am. "You're free to go."

I nodded slightly and as quick as I could left the hospital. Today is just another reason why I hate the place. I made my way down the street and closer to my neighborhood where I quickly found a liquor store and despite the weird looks from the clerk buy as much alcohol as I could afford. I don't know the difference between all of them but I made sure each had a high alcohol content. The ninja motto, "Old enough to kill and die, old enough to drink," is so true.

That night I got as drunk as I could and cried away my sorrow into the bottles that surrounded me in my tiny apartment. I didn't completely forget but it did numb me for a bit and I understood why so many older ninjas end up with alcoholism and the ones that don't usually have weird quirks to help deal with everyday life. It helps you from thinking to hard on the things you've done and lets you continue on. I know I'm not going to drink often but this one night… This one night it's fine.

The next morning I awoke with no hangover thanks to the Kyuubi. Although he is the source of most of my problems, including partially being responsible for the events that lead to yesterday, at least he can fix a hangover. I don't know what would happen if I showed up to the meeting spot in such a condition, probably nothing but you never know. It wouldn't be a good thing if my team suddenly took an intrest in my life and found out.

I plaster on a cheery face for a team that really couldn't care less about me and go to the bridge where we are to meet. Later that day when we finally go to the missions hall we get a C-rank mission to wave and life went on.

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay, I know I NEED to UPdate my NaruBones story but I don't have anything to type it with. I mean I do but my old laptop (the one I"m using currently) keeps crashing. I had to re-write this like three times and I have the new chapter written out but I need to type it and I'm waiting for my normal laptop, Charlotte, to get back from getting fixed. She should have been back a month ago but they keep stalling. Damn them!

So in the mean time I came up with this. My friend Tai and I were talking about M-pregs and how the guy pregnant ALWAYS keeps the baby and how unrealistic that was and some other cliches always found... So I wrote this for her. I hope she likes it... Also I have to thank my friend Hanajima for helping me pick the bad guy. I hope you like what I wrote even though it's depressing and even if you didn't thank you for reading the whole thing!

Reviewers and I guess flamers (except ones who didn't read the warnings) get milk and cookies!

12 March 2012


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